and now that i’m being completely honest, i see that i was bad to you. i look back on all of these memories and think, ‘why WHY did i do that or say that?’ or i think ’ why didn’t i do this or that?’ all the things you asked of me were so so simple. but i will say that i am young and i was naive, you were my first for EVERYTHING. being my first, i had to learn along the way everything you already knew. yes i made my mistakes, but i’m learning from them. also it takes two, i know in my mind and heart that it was not all me. but now i have to think about what it is that i want to change and what it is that i also need from you. and also work on my own personal health and well being and happiness before i can give my all to you again. i do hope that this isn’t permanent and that we can be happy together again sometime soon. another thing is that i see now you are at the place that i was. i still loved you but was doing my own thing…i can’t help but feel that you’re doing the same, but only to spite me…i’ve been using spite a lot lately since reading/watching Death of a Salesman…hmm. i just wish i knew for sure that i was the only one you’re thinking of loving and giving YOUR all to…and i wish i would see you before i graduated, instead of waiting to see you at my graduation and that’s it. oh well, at least you’re going.